Waiting

Okay, it’s been awhile. Since last time, a lot has happened. Probably the biggest thing: I saw my doctor and he told me he wanted me to stick around next year until we can figure out my health. So, I did some thinking and praying, and then went back to my Assistant Principal to talk about options. With the combination of my health and the economy, I made the very tough decision to stay at South County next year. I’m excited about staying there—I love my school and I love the students, and I even love my coworkers. But it’s been really hard at the same time. I was so excited about going to the UK, I was excited about the change and challenge, I was excited about God stretching me and taking me outside of my comfort zone, I was excited about being closer to Jessica (and Seth and Daniel and David). In my head, I know it’s probably smart to stay here, especially when my doctor can’t give me a clean bill of health. But in my heart, I’m really torn. Some things happened in my personal life right around the same time, and I think for the past two weeks, I’ve convinced myself that everything will be okay next year. But now I’m really questioning that. I’m having a really hard time seeing God’s hand in all of this—but I’m trying to continue to just trust Him. I’m trying to trust that He has a plan for me next year and that there’s a reason He’s keeping me in Virginia and at South County, but it’s hard when I was looking forward to all the changes.

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am right now…maybe I’m having my quarter life crisis as I near my 25th birthday :) Wow, if I was in control of my life, things would be so different! And I’ve surrendered my life and my future over to the Only One who knows what is best for me. But I can’t help but sit and question “Why” lately. Why is God having me wait? (see my previous post and the song lyrics) If you know me, you know I’ve never been a super patient person…though I definitely think I’ve gotten better, especially with being a teacher and now being sick for so long. But I don’t like waiting. Who really does? But, there must be a reason that God is having me wait…so I’ll keep waiting. And keep trusting that He really does know what’s best for me. And keep worshipping my Love, my Lord, my God.